One Line New Year Jokes

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  • A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
  • My New Years resolution is 1080p.
  • I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
  • New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
  • What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?
    Ans : Social Security
  • New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.
  • What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?
    Ans : I haven’t seen you for a year!
  • New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.

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